You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize