ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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