Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize