found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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