Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Two words: nipple clamps
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