Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
