my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize