Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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