were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
