gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
