You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
