This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
