i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize