i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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