Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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