I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
