now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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