Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize