JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
