Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
