the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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