This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
