I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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