I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
