my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
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Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
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I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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