I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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