as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
