Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
