Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
