Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
