Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize