I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
