I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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