your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
