Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dicks are not precious.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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