eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
as a side note pls kill me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
