belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
