And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
