My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize