He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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