Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize