Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
