I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
