Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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