Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
