Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
