just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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