ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to have your abortion
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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