Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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