I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
