we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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