And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
