It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
