There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
