If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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