i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
