We're facebook friends in real life
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
