You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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