He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Two words: blizzard sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
