Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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