We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
