he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
