i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize