literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize