You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
