he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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