i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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