I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize