The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
