My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
