im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
