Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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