She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
