New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Randomize
