if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
