Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
